pay for homework answersSometimes we can feel we are stuck. We might feel helpless or hopeless about something; we might think that no matter what we do, we can’t change it. When we think we can’t change anything, we don’t take any action and when we don’t take action, things can’t change. It becomes a vicious circle.

How we interpret or explain a situation to ourselves has a profound effect on how we feel about it and how we deal (or not deal) with it. In other words, what make us stuck are usually our beliefs about the situation rather than the situation itself.

Let’s say you quitted your job in the corporate because you were unhappy working with your manager and the job didn’t satisfy you. You began to think that corporate life isn’t for you. You want to do something else but you are not sure what exactly it is. So, the question at hand is to find out what you want to do. How would you approach this situation? Let’s think of some possible explanatory styles:

  • “I will never find a job I want.”
  • “I don’t have realistic expectations about a job.”
  • “I am useless.”
  • “What if someone asks me what I do? What will I tell them?”
  • “What if I fail when I start my own business?”
  • “It is too late to start doing something new.”
  • “I am a failure.”

 

How do you think above thoughts/beliefs can possibly help you in your quest to find out what you want to do? What is the alternative? How can we approach it in a way that can help us see it in a healthy and realistic way and that can make us move forward?

Let’s think of some alternative ways of explaining the situation that can encourage us to take action and go ahead.

  • “It is quite natural that I feel frustrated especially at the beginning of a new period.”
  •  “I am curious about the new opportunities that will come up.”
  • “The more I try, the more is the probability of finding something I want.”
  • “I appreciate my decision to quit my job where I felt drained.”
  • “I am aware that it might not be easy to start doing something new but it is worth investing in what will make me happier and more satisfied.”
  • “Though the last job I had was a real disappointment, I have had achievements in my career. And I can learn from failures too.”

 

Yes, it is easier said than done.  Below are some tips that can help you to realize your explanatory styles and reframe them in a way that will make you more resilient in the face of adversity.

  • When you face a setback, remind yourself of a time when you were in full power and when you achieved a goal. How did you feel? What did you think? Then, through that perspective, look at your existing question or problem at hand. See how it can create totally new ways of seeing and responding to exactly the same situation.

 

  • Adopt a growth mindset (see Carol Dweck’s theory of Mindset) where you embrace challenges, see effort as the route to success, and learn from failures. Watch this truly inspirational video by Carol Dweck pay for homework answers.

 

  • Learn optimism! Yes, optimism can be learnt.  Learning to be optimistic does not mean being unrealistic. You can be a realistic optimist. See where Martin Seligman explains Learned Optimism.

 

  • Work with a coach! Coaching can help you discover your existing perspectives of yourself and of your life, and encourage you to reframe them for a more resilient and fulfilling life.

 

Carol Dweck says, “The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life.” I can’t agree more. What is the current view you adopt for yourself? How do you think it affects the way you lead your life?